Depth-oriented therapy for perfectionism explores the unconscious roots of why you hold yourself to impossible standards rather than simply teaching you to be "kinder to yourself." In my practice, we work together to understand what drives your perfectionism, including early experiences that taught you that being perfect was necessary for love or acceptance, and the fears that fuel your relentless self-criticism. This approach helps you understand why you can't allow yourself to make mistakes or rest, leading to genuine freedom rather than just trying to override your perfectionism with positive thinking.

Psychoanalytic therapy for perfectionism focuses on understanding what your perfectionism is protecting you from rather than treating it as a bad habit to break. While other approaches may teach you self-compassion techniques or cognitive reframing, my work aims to uncover the deeper emotional truths beneath your impossible standards. We explore how perfectionism might shield you from feelings of shame, fear of rejection, or old wounds, allowing you to address the real issues rather than just managing symptoms.

Getting started is straightforward. You can reach out through my website to schedule an initial consultation where we can discuss what you're experiencing with perfectionism and whether my depth-oriented approach feels right for you. During this conversation, we'll also discuss scheduling, fees, and any questions you have about the therapeutic process. I work on a private pay basis, and I'm happy to provide documentation for insurance reimbursement if your plan offers out-of-network benefits.

I specialize in twice-weekly therapy because perfectionism often involves deeply ingrained patterns that developed early in life and require intensive exploration. Meeting twice per week allows us to build momentum in uncovering the unconscious beliefs driving your perfectionism and prevents you from using the time between sessions to intellectualize or dismiss what we're discovering. This frequency helps you stay emotionally connected to the work rather than retreating back into perfectionistic defenses.

Many high-achieving professionals worry that letting go of perfectionism means letting go of their success. In our work together, we explore the difference between healthy striving and punishing perfectionism. You may discover that your achievements come despite your perfectionism, not because of it, and that the constant fear of failure and inability to enjoy your successes are costing you more than you realize. The goal isn't to stop caring about your work but to free you from the exhausting tyranny of never being good enough.

Yes. Even if perfectionism has been part of your identity for as long as you can remember, we can explore its origins and what purpose it serves in your psychological life. Often, perfectionism develops as an adaptive response to early experiences where being perfect felt necessary for safety, love, or acceptance. By understanding these roots and working through the underlying fears and beliefs, you can develop a different relationship with yourself that doesn't require constant perfection.

My approach is different from skills-based therapy. Rather than teaching you techniques to manage perfectionism, I help you understand why it exists and what drives it at an unconscious level. Many of my clients have already tried self-help books, mindfulness practices, and cognitive techniques without lasting change. We focus on insight and understanding, which often leads to natural shifts in how you relate to yourself and your standards without needing to practice specific exercises.

If your perfectionism is causing you distress, interfering with your relationships, preventing you from enjoying your accomplishments, or leaving you exhausted and unable to rest, then therapy can help. You don't need to wait until perfectionism completely derails your life. Many of my clients are functioning well externally but suffering internally, unable to feel satisfaction or let others see their vulnerabilities. If this resonates with you, exploring your perfectionism in therapy could be transformative.

Yes, I provide online therapy for perfectionism throughout Virginia, Washington DC, and Washington State. My practice is based in Arlington, Virginia, and all sessions are conducted through secure video conferencing. This allows you to engage in deep therapeutic work exploring your perfectionism from wherever you are in these locations, without the pressure of showing up perfectly to an in-person appointment.

In our sessions, we create space to explore your inner experience without judgment. Rather than focusing on changing your behavior, we examine your thoughts, feelings, and patterns to understand what perfectionism means for you. We might explore memories of when you first learned that mistakes were dangerous, relationships where you felt you had to be perfect to be loved, or the ways perfectionism protects you from deeper fears. The work is collaborative and follows your unique experience.